Thursday, April 17, 2014

News: Woman Accidentally Pays £2,600 For Neil Diamond CD

I guess I shouldn't tell her that I got the same CD used on Amazon for 39 cents.
Woman Accidentally Pays £2,600 For Neil Diamond CD

A woman was charged £2,600 for a Neil Diamond album after downloading the singer's 'Best Of' collection while on holiday in South Africa.

Katie Bryan, a maths teacher from Lighthorne, South Warwickshire, downloaded the £8.99 album unaware of the incurred roaming charges from mobile phone company Orange.

Bryan told Contactmusic: "It was a lunchtime get-together with my boyfriend's family at a house where we were staying near the Kruger National Park. I'd had a bit of wine... but not too much. People were playing music through their iPads or on phones through an iPod dock. Someone had put on the Traveling Wilburys but I just fancied hearing some Neil Diamond. I don't know why. He's more my boyfriend's musical taste and I'm more of a James Blunt fan."

(read more)
A woman was charged £2,600 for a Neil Diamond album after downloading the singer's 'Best Of' collection while on holiday in South Africa.
Read more at http://www.nme.com/news/neil-diamond/76751#3oGUHwisbLuWRxMP.99

8 Household Objects You Can Eat To Stay Alive (Of The Day)

Can. Don't go eating your shoes if you don't have to.


From Survival Goods: "Visualize this scene. The worst has occurred. You’ve been locked in your own home. Be it by a forgetful partner or a SAW-like psycho, you’re now a prisoner within your own four walls. Furthermore, having forgotten to do the weekly shop, the cupboards of your domestic gulag are bear. Don’t worry though; we’ve compiled this helpful list to ensure you’ll survive the ordeal."

ANIMAL FOOD
With any luck the architect of your incarceration is an animal lover and thus in some dusty cupboard you’ll find food fit for a beast. Both dog and cat foods contain most of the essential vitamins and minerals required to sustain life.

GARBAGE
In the majority of households the largest stockpile of underutilized nutrients will be found amongst the trash: old apple cores, half eaten cup cakes, and perhaps even a potato peeling or two. Be sure to keep any tangerine skin you find, as nibbling it helps to alleviate nausea, something you’ll no doubt experience as your ordeal continues.

HOUSE PLANTS
The lowly house plant, that oft neglected outpost of nature’s kingdom, can usually be found in even the grimmest of human habitations. The most common house plant in the western world is the Yucca, a fortunate occurrence as its root is a Central American delicacy. It can be cooked like a potato, made into porridge and is the main constituent of tapioca pudding.

LEATHER
As you might suspect Leather, given its animal origins, is indeed edible. Although you can technically bite straight into that hide and start munching away we recommend you deep fry your leather, it’ll produce something akin to everyone’s favorite Friday night snack: Pork Scratchings.

OVEN GREASE
Oven grease is nothing more than the oils accumulated from spill and slips during cooking, making it perfect for frying up that Yucca plant root or used, with our next item, as the basis of a tongue tingling sauce.

TOOTHPASTE
Consumption of toothpaste in large amounts is, due to high levels of Sorbitol (laxative), Sodium lauryl sulfate (soap foam) and fluoride, very dangerous and should not be attempted by anyone. It can be used, however, in pea sized amounts, as minty condiment or after dinner treat.

SOAP
Currently most soap is manufactured using vegetable oils; subsequently if it is ingested it will provide a small amount of nutrition. When consumed in large amounts, however, soap has laxative effects.

CARDBOARD/PAPER/TISSUE
All three items in this family are formed of the same universally useful material, cellulose. Depending on the robustness of your digestive system, you may be able to break down these fibers and extract some nutrition. Serve drenched with oven grease and toothpaste sauce.


(read more)

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

News: Community Theater Gives Part Of Blanche DuBois To Kathy Fucking Hamilton

Unfuckingbelievable! From The Onion.
Community Theater Gives Part Of Blanche DuBois To Kathy Fucking Hamilton

PEEKSKILL, NY—In a surprising casting decision that has drawn criticism from numerous members of local community theater The Old Mill Players, sources confirmed Wednesday that the role of Blanche DuBois in the company’s upcoming production of Tennessee Williams’ A Streetcar Named Desire has been given to none other than Kathy fucking Hamilton.

Reports indicated that, yes, you heard that correctly: The 41-year-old real estate agent and mother of three has, for some insane reason, been selected to portray what is, hands down, the 2014 season’s most challenging dramatic role.

That’s right, accounts confirmed, we’re all supposed to sit back and believe that the woman whose past credits include Myrtle Mae Simmons in Harvey, Aunt Eller in Oklahoma!, and a handful of other bit parts is now poised to emerge from the wings and bear the full weight of the summer calendar’s most highly anticipated production, as if that’s not going to take some kind of goddamn miracle.

I mean, Jesus, sources added.

(read more)

Photos Ruined By Dogs Pooping In The Background (Of The Day)

And, of course, the photographer took the shot anyway. I would, too.

Vid Of The Day: The Futility Of Existence

I was pulling for the guy. Thanks for the link, Ron Freeman.



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